Sometimes the Employee is Right: How to Handle Rude or Aggressive Customers

Ask any restaurant worker, and chances are they'll tell you they've been on the receiving end of harassment when interacting with customers. Further, they may say they're afraid to tell managers out of fear of retaliation.

This is bad news for restaurant owners and managers. Low morale can lead to high employee turnover.

A multi-university study of retail, restaurant, and call center employees showed that mistreatment by customers is one of the top reasons people quit jobs—and how their management handled the conflict may have played an even more significant role.

As a result, researchers suggest "ensuring supervisors treat the employees with dignity and respect, having regular conversations with their employees, and training employees on how to deal with abusive customers."

The study also states that acknowledging that a patron is disrespectful and supporting the employee could improve employee morale and keep workers from leaving.

This can be quite the adjustment for managers, employees, and patrons. But a lost patron or two almost always costs less on average than replacing an hourly employee, and empowering and supporting your employees can help you avoid lawsuits.

Here are six tips for ensuring that your employees feel safe and empowered in the workplace.

1. Make Expectations Clear From Day One

Any seasoned teacher will confirm that it’s always harder to implement new rules in a class full of students who have been given too much leniency. The same can be said for a dining room full of customers.

First, restaurant managers and operators should establish a clear set of guidelines for handling unruly diners.

Then, let your new workers know your company's behavior policies, your personal (though company-aligned) expectations of how they should be treated and should treat others, and what steps they need to take if there is a problem with a coworker or a customer.

Most importantly, follow through. Support your employees by supporting the guidelines you have established.

2. Allow Employees to Say "No"

Your employees' training should include instructions on how to de-escalate situations, and they should also have the option to walk away. Rather than encouraging workers to stay in a risky situation, allow them to remove themselves if they feel the de-escalation is ineffective or making things worse.

Additionally, tell your employees that they deserve to be treated with dignity. For instance, if a customer begins calling them names, threatening them, or making suggestive comments, tell them they're allowed to say, "I will not be spoken to that way," or to simply leave the situation.

3. Be Present in the Restaurant

*Communicate and support your employees in pre-shift meetings and during meal service.*

While there are times when you need to be in the back doing paperwork, you should be on the floor as much as possible. Being present without hovering over each employee also shows you care about what's happening in your space but trust them to do their jobs.

Restaurant managers should include themselves in their de-escalation plan. This removes stress from your employees, which is arguably more important than calming an angry customer.

Being visible also allows you to swoop in when you see a table becoming rowdy or aggressive. Be sure to listen to the patrons, use de-escalation techniques, and speak to the employee separately to get their side of what happened before making any non-emergent decisions.

4. Allow for Fast and Effective Communication

Handling employee fears or concerns about customers must be done quickly and effectively—not to mention safely.

Erin Wade, a chef and former labor lawyer, came up with a creative solution for handling sexual harassment from customers. She and her waitstaff developed a code to report inappropriate behavior to management without their having to describe the encounter in detail and without the risk of the patrons overhearing them.

Management was then expected to take immediate action based on the code word used.

Chef Wade states that customer harassment has almost completely stopped since they began using this system. Customers have adjusted to the new set of expectations, and business hasn't gone down.

While the code system may not be best for your business, think about your own restaurant's environment and figure out a reporting and response system that would work for you.

5. Share New Health Protocols

*Clearly state your restaurant’s policies to avoid customer frustration.*

Cities such as Palm Springs and New Orleans have instituted mandates requiring anyone dining indoors at restaurants to show proof they’re vaccinated and/or wear face coverings. Many other cities and states are considering implementing these health and safety guidelines to fight the spread of COVID-19.

If your restaurant is mandated or chooses to require proof of vaccination and a guest is not vaccinated, it could lead to conflict. The best way to prevent frustrated customers is by clearly communicating your indoor dining guidelines. Consider sharing this important information on your website, on social media, and in printed signage.

The National Restaurant association reminds restaurants that restaurant employees cannot ask customers why they’re not vaccinated.

However, there are still ways to serve customers who do not comply with health and safety protocols.

To ease customer frustrations, consider offering outdoor seating or encourage them to place a to-go order online.

6. Remove Misbehaving Customers

You are legally allowed to remove customers for mistreating your employees. Moreover, employees have won lawsuits against companies for not taking appropriate action against customers who harass them.

In these cases, employers are usually safest if they can prove they acted swiftly and removed the customer, not the employee, from the situation.

Conclusion

No one wants their employees to be miserable or feel unsafe at work. Unfortunately, in the fast-paced world of food service, this can happen.

But if we focus on empowering employees via practical training, allowing them to own their personhood, being present and communicative, and taking action to remove abusive customers from restaurants, we may find that employee morale goes up.

As Chef Wade shows above, shifting the focus to employee safety over customer complaints works. Even customers learn how to behave!

In short, caring for your workers first often works out best for everyone. Try the six tips above and see if your employee retention and satisfaction rates improve.

How to Handle Rude Restaurant Customers